The Legend of Mithos: The Linkite Ocarina of Time
by Kuroda-chan
Summary: This is a Tales of Symphonia and Ocarina of Time crossover. I put it in Zelda because it follows the plot, but it will be funnier if you've played Tales of Symphonia.
1. Yuan is a fairy

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time or Tales of Symphonia or any of the characters.**

**The Legend of Mithos: The Linkite Ocarina of Time**

--The Great Marble Tree--

"YUAN! FOR THE TENTH MILLIONTH TIME, GO FIND KRATOS!" The Great Marble Tree screamed at the half-elf…err…whatever he would be.

"B-but I'm not a fairy!" He protested.

Then the Great Marble Tree zapped Yuan with something. Come on, you have and imagination, right?

"But now you are. GO!"

"Aw, crud!" Yuan moaned as he flew away.

--Kratos' House—

Yuan began to jump on the sleeping boy. "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!" He yelled.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Kratos screamed as he woke up.

"Hi!" Yuan shouted.

"Um…hi…"

"I'M A FAIRY!" Yuan exclaimed happily.

"No, really?" Kratos asked sarcastically.

"YEP! Uh…anyways, let's go get a lot of money."

"Why…?" Kratos asked.

"'CAUSE YOU NEED A SHIELD!" Yuan shouted.

--Kokiri Forest—

"Oh Din, this shield is cruddy!" Kratos complained.

"Well it's not my fault that you were too lazy to find more money…Anyways, you need a sword." Yuan explained.

"But I already have one!"

"What?"

"I don't know…"

"Anyways, you have to—"

"NO!" Kratos shouted.

"But I didn't even tell you what you have to do yet!" the blue fairy protested.

"Oh, right. Go on."

"YOU NEED TO SAVE THE GREAT MARBLE TREE!"

"And I should do this…why…?"

"Um…gee, I don't really know…"

"Then no, I'm not helping."

"Err…then…how about; THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON YOU!"

"Okay then."

--The Great Marble Tree—

"OMG YOU'RE FINALLY HERE!" The Great Marble Tree shouted. "I need you to defeat the giant spider queen Ghoma and when you do I will just talk about really unimportant and pointless stuff. Oh, and by the way, I'm going to die anyway so you're just wasting you time oh well." (That last sentence is said quickly)

"…"

"I didn't catch that last part, what did you—" Kratos started to say until he was interrupted.

"Um……NEVERMIND!"


	2. Convenience

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time or Tales of Symphonia or any of the characters.**

**The Legend of Mithos: The Linkite Ocarina of Time**

--Inside The Great Marble Tree—

Yuan started to hit Kratos and yelled, "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!—

"WHAT!" Kratos screamed.

"You need to jump through that gigantic spider web and crack your skull open after the long fall because that's what would happen in real life."

"HUH?"

"Err…I mean…you need to jump through that gigantic spider web and conveniently land in some water after the long fall even though that would NEVER happen in real life." Yuan explained again.

"Okay!" Kratos proceeded in jumping through the gigantic spider web. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he fell.

Then Kratos landed conveniently in some water.

"Wow Yuan, you were right! I landed conveniently in the water though that would NEVER happen in real life!" Kratos exclaimed.

"Well, OF COURSE I was right." Yuan bragged.

"…I have a feeling we forgot something…"

"OMG I completely forgot about the slingshot! Now you ONLY have to climb all the way back up…"

Kratos groaned and started to climb back up, while all Yuan had to do was fly.

"Now you have to go through that door." Yuan said as he…pointed, somehow to a door.

Kratos opened the door and then screamed. "AH! What the heck is that thing!"

"It's a Deku Scrub." Yuan explained dryly.

"Um…right." Kratos slashed at the odd creature.

"Ouch!" It yelled. It said something else, but Kratos wasn't paying any attention. Then it died.

"Kratos, now you need to go through THAT door."

Kratos opened the door and walked inside.

"Now you need to—

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?" Kratos screamed as he walked over to the treasure chest and opened it up.

**DA NA NA NA!**

**R&R! **


	3. Twentythree is number one!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, or any of the characters.**

**The Legend of Mithos: The Linkite Ocarina of Time**

--Still Inside The Great Deku Tree—

**DA NA NA NA!**

**TEXT: **_You got a slingshot! Blah blah blah the C button blah blah blah._

"AH!" Kratos screamed. "The sling shot is floating above my head and there are words flying around!"

Yuan coughed on purpose and the hissed, "You were supposed to pretend that wasn't happening…"

Well sorry!" Kratos apologized sarcastically.

The fairy sighed and then said "Just ignore it next time…"

---Later—

"I like the slingshot." Kratos announced happily as he fired another seed at his fairy.

"Stop it!" Yuan complained.

"Whatever." Kratos replied nonchalantly. "Let's go…" Kratos jumped down the huge hole again and landed conveniently in the water. Again.

"I need a stick." The boy said almost randomly.

"Why?" Yuan asked, confused.

"Because I need to hit you with it." He replied sarcastically. "No, because I need to light the torches. Duh!"

"Riiiiiight. You can get sticks by attacking those plants over there."

Kratos immediately ran over, but he tripped. "OW!" He screamed. Then he got back up and killed a plant, giving him a stick.

**DA NA NA NA!**

**TEXT: **_You got a stick! Blah blah blah the C button blah blah blah. _

"I'm never going to get used to that…" Kratos said as he sighed. Then Kratos lit all of the torches.

**DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DA!**

The door was unlocked.

"Yay!" Yuan exclaimed. "Let's go inside!"

--Inside That One Room That They Went Into—

"Look! Three Deku Scrubs!" Kratos exclaimed.

Kratos tried to attack them, but it didn't work. GASP!

"Do you remember what the first Deku Scrub said?" Yuan asked.

"He said something?"

Yuan sighed. FLASHBACK TIME!

…_**Flashback…**_

Deku Scrub: To defeat my brothers, you have to hit them in the right order. Two, three, one. Twenty-three is number one!

…_**End Flashback…**_

"Oh yeah…" Kratos hit the second Deku Scrub.

It said, "Ow."

Kratos hit the third Deku Scrub.

It said, "Ow."

Kratos then hit the first Deku Scrub.

It said, "Ow."

"Yay!" He said joyfully. "Twenty-three is number one!"

"Wait!" The first Deku Scrub shouted as they were about to leave. "We have a secret to tell you!"

"Really?" Yuan asked.

"Yep!" It replied. "To defeat Queen Ghoma, you need to slash at her eye when it turns red."

"Gee, thanks!" Kratos said as the went inside Ghoma's Lair……

**R&R!**


	4. Fairly Exciting

**The Legend of Mithos...

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**

"Hm...it's quiet...Too quiet." Yuan whispered suspiciously.

"You know that line is really cliched." Kratos shot back.

"Shut up."

The two heard noises on the ceiling. Kratos looked around, but he didn't find anything. "Hmm..." More noises were heard. Kratos looked up.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" He screamed. A gigantic and disgusting spider jumped down from the ceiling.

"Queen Ghoma!" Yuan exclaimed. "The colossal spider that's been killing the Great Marble Tree!"

"Well duh. Thanks Captain Obvious." Kratos said sarcastically.

Yuan coughed and said, "WHAT ABOUT QUEEN GHOMA!"

"Oh, yeah." Kratos said calmly. "AHHHHHHHH!"

Then the scary music started to play.

Text: QUEEN GHOMA, PARASITIC ARMORED ARACHNID.

"Shoot the eye! Shoot the eye!" Yuan screamed while doing nothing.

Kratos, who was whimpering at the moment, shot Ghoma's eye with his slingshot.

Ghoma screeched loudly as her eye turned red.

"Slash at it! Slash at it!" Yuan shouted from the sidelines.

Kratos, without any aim, repeatedly slashed air, but hit Ghomas eye once or twice.

The mutated spider screeched as it's eye turned to it's "normal" color.

Kratos ran away screaming. "AAAAHHH!"

The spider climbed onto the ceiling and screeched again. Kratos began to fire marbles at it. (ha..haha..) The colossal arachnid fell to the ground and started twitching, the eye turning red again.

Kratos slashed again and Queen Ghoma...decomposed.

DA DA DA DAAA DA DAAAAAAA!

R&R!


	5. Yay!

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time or Tales of Symphonia or any of the characters.**

* * *

"Yay!" Yuan shouted.

"LOOK! SHINY!" Kratos exclaimed as he pointed to somthing.

DO DO DO DO DO DA!

TEXT: You got a Heart Container! Now you won't die so easily!

"EXCUSE ME?"

"IGNORE THE NEXT!" Yuan screamed.

"...I see the liiiiiiiiiiiiiight!"

"WELL STEP INTO IT!" Yuan told Kratos loudly.

"Mmkay." Kratos agreed as he stepped into the circle glowy thingy...

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"Why are we in front of this dumb tree again?" Kratos asked as they appeared out of thin air.

"Because we defeated the hideous spider!" Yuan claimed.

"WE!" You didn't do anything.!"

"Oh yeah..."

Then the Great Marble Tree began to talk..."BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH REGAL BLAH EVIL SPELL BLAH BLAH BLAH I'M GONNA DIE BLAH BLAH BLAH." And then the Great Marble Tree died.

"Finally!" Kratos said in relief. "Wait...hey!"

"That stupid old tree didn't give us the Kokiri Emerald!" Yuan realized.

"And she didn't say anything about my amazing courage!" Kratos complained. "I feel gypped."

"Yeah!"

"We should sue!"

"...Nah...let's look for it."

Kratos sighed and agreed. "Fine..."

Yuan flew around behind the tree. "I found it!" He called.

DAAAA NAA NA NA NA! DA NA NAAAAAAA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Text: You got the Kokiri Emerald blah blah blah.

"Yaaaaaaaaay!" Kratos said joyfully.

"Let's go find the princess--err, I mean prince of destiny!" Yuan said.

"Who's that?" Kratos asked.

Yuan sighed and said. "Uh...nevermind..."

--Kokiri Forest--

"In your FACE losers!" Kratos screamed to everyone within earshot. "We-- I mean I, got the Kokiri Emerald! And the dumb tree died!"

"Yay!" Everybody cheered.

"Let's go.." Yuan said.

"Wait, Kratos!" Martel, one of Kratos' only friends exclaimed. She had green hair. Wonder who this is...

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT?" Kratos asked rudely.

"Um...take this crappy panpipe!" She said as she threw something at Kratos that hit his head.

"OW!" He shouted. WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"I dunno..."

Then Kratos ran across the bridge leading to Hyrule Field. Martel began to cry on cue.

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**Read and Review! **I'll make the chapters longer. Hope you liked it! 


	6. The Courtyard

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, Tales of Symphonia, Mario, or any of the characters.**

I'm sorry for any typos. In the last chapter I spelled "text" "next". Whoops. My bad.

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--Hyrule Field-- 

"Finally!" Kratos exclaimed.

A large and weird owl came flying up to him. "Hoot!" It said. "You can call me Hoot! Yaaaay!" (1)

"What the heck...?" Yuan asked.

"HOOT! I will just tell you stupid and pointless stuff. You might as well ignore me because I suck HOOT!"

"Mmkay." Kratos said. "See ya..."

"Wait!" Yuan cried. "Don't LEAVE me here!" He then flew after Kratos.

"CURSES!" The Hoot yelled and then swore. He flew away disappointedly.

* * *

"..." Kratos said nothing. 

"We're lost..." Yuan said sadly.

'THANKS FOR BEING NEGATIVE! GO AHEAD! BE A PESSIMEIST! MAKE ME MISERABLE!" Kratos screamed sarcastically. "I'm sure---

Then the sun set, and a wolf was heard howling in the distance. The drawbridge to Hyrule Castle went up, and zombies came out of the ground.

"----." Kratos swore.

The zombies made odd noises and chased after the two.

"AHHH! HELP!" Yuan scremed.

"Heck no! I'm running for my life!" Kratos called as he began running away.

"OKAY!" Yuan shouted as he flew after him. (This happens a lot, doesn't it?)

A few insert plural time measurement later, the sun rose,

"Well that was a colossal waste of time." Kratos said negatively.

"Atleast the zombies are gone..." Yuan tried to bring some light to their situation.

--Hyrule Market-- (insert catchy music)

Look!" A girl...or maybe it was a boy...exclaimed. " A fairy boy! Hi fairy boy!"

"Huh?" Kratos said.

"Hi!My name's Zelos! You have weird clothes."

"Well sorry." Kratos apologized sarcastically.

"Are you a fairy boy from the forest?" Zelos asked.

"Mayyyyyyyybe..."

"Yay! Fairy boy, will you find Mario for me?"

"Uh--

"Thanks! Byyye!" Zelos said as he/she ran away.

"...What just happened?" Kratos asked Yuan.

"Um...I think you just agreed to find somebody." Yuan guessed.

"Oh well, I'm going to find the princess, err--prince." Kratos told his fairy.

"Yeah, okay." Yuan agreed. "Let's sneek through the courtyard."

"Whatever." Kratos said as he rushed down the path to the castle.

--Courtyard--

A guard blew his whistle loudly in Kratos' face. "GET OUTTA HERE!" He screamed.

"B-but..." Kratos stammered. "The fate of the world depends on me!"

"Yeah, whatever kid. Just get outta here."

Kratos walked far enough away so the guard couldn't see him.

"I said SNEAK THROUGH the courtyard." Yuan hissed.

"Okay..."

--Insert funny music-- Da da, da da, da da! Da da! Da da! Da da, da da, da da! Da da, da da da da da da da da da da...(repeat)...

Kratos snuck behind and over and around the hedges to get past all the gaurds. I don't remember exactly so too bad for you.

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--Princess', err--Prince's Courtyard-- 

"Hiiiii!" Kratos greeted.

"Hi! Are you the fairy boy from the forest?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Sorry."

"What are you doing?"

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Read and Review! Hope you liked it! 


	7. Presea, Mario, Epona

**Kirbykirby: Do the disclaimer!**

**Yuan: No...**

**Kirbykirby: YES!**

**Yuan: Kirbykirby726 doesn't own Tales of Symphonia, The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time or Mario.**

**Kirbykirby: Thank you! No back to the story...**

_This chapter contains Regal bashing._

**

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**

"What are you doing?" Kratos asked.

"I'm spying on Regal. He's evil."

"Hmm. Okay." Kratos said as he looked through the window. "AHH!" He screamed. "UGLY!"

"Yeah, I know! You get used to it..."

Kratos had stopped twitching. "Right. So anyway...who are you?"

"I...am the princess-- WAIT! I mean prince! Prince Mithos!" The now-known-as-prince-prince announced.

"Okay. So WHY did I come here?" Kratos asked Yuan and Mithos.

"! We... ... ...Oh yeah, I remember. We're trying to save the world from the evil...AND UGLY Regal." Yuan explained

"Oh yeah... We have the emerald...thingy..." Kratos said.

"WHAT!" Mithos shrieked. "THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE?"

"Well, yeah. Pretty much."

"GO TO DEATH MOUNTAIN YOU -BEEP-S!" Mithos screamed.

"Okay gosh!" Kratos said angrily "We will!"

"Wait!" A girl with pink hair shouted. "I have to teach you this song! And my name is Presea..."

"No, I don't really feel like it." Kratos said.

"KRATOS!" Yuan shouted.

"Fiiiiine."

Presea began to whistle a tune. _'Do do do...do do do...do do**do** do do...'_

"Now you play it." She instructed.

Kratos started to play on his panpipe. _Do do do...do do do...do do **do** do do..._

"You learned Mithos' Lullaby!" Presea said.

Kratos looked over to see Mithos asleep on the concrete. "What a loser." He said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Mithos screamed as he stood up.

"Nothing...nothing.."

Then Yuan and Kratos left the courtyard...

* * *

"HEY!" Kratos complained. "I just stepped on some weird guy in a red hat..."

"MAMAMIA!" The 'weird guy in a red hat' exclaimed. "It's-a me-a! Mario!"

"Oh, weren't we supposed to find a Mario...?" Yuan asked.

"Yeah!" Kratos said. "HEY MISTER! WE NEED YOU TO ...um...GO BACK TO ZELOS OR WHATEVER!"

"Durrrrr...OKAY!" Mario said stupidly.

"Wow! That was easy!" Kratos said happily. "I guess we should go get our reward!"

* * *

"YOU'RE GONNA TEACH ME A SONG!" Kratos screamed in Zelos' face.

"Yeah, I guess so." The red-haired boy replied.

"Fine...I suppose I'll learn it..." Kratos said loudly in a disappointed tone.

"Whining will get you nothing."

"SHUT UP!" Kratos shouted.

"Okay, now learn the song so my pony doesn't trample you..._Do do do...do do do...do do do do do..._" Zelos hummed.

"Augh, terrible!" Yuan moaned.

The Kratos began to play..._do do do...do do do...do do do do do..._

Then Epona ran up to Kratos and trampled him.

"AUGH!" Kratos shrieked in pain. "I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT **WOULDN'T **TRAMPLE ME!"

"Oh..." Zelos sighed. "Maybe Epona just doesn't like you..."

* * *

**R&R! Hope you liked this chapter. Sorry if you're a Regal fan...I;m not so I decided to bash him in this chapter.**


	8. Cuccos

**Kirbykirby: Do the disclaimer Epona!**

**Epona:...**

**Kirbykirby: Um...Yuan! Do the disclaimer!**

**Yuan: Kirbykirby726 owns nothing except the story.**

* * *

"Hey Yuan...do you know where we're supposed to go...?" Kratos asked nervously. 

"YOU FORGOT!"

"Eheheh...yeah..."

"Death Mountain! DUR!"

"You sounded like a retard." Kratos commented.

"Rrr..." Yuan growled.

Yuan and Kratos began their walk to Kakariko (I hope I spelled that right) Village.

"HEY LOOK!" Kratos yelled. "CUCCOS! BWAHAHA! DEATH TO CUCCOS!" Kratos began slashing at the cuccos. The fowls got angry and mobbed him. "AHAHHAA!"Kratos screamed.

Eventually, the cuccos killed Kratos and the words 'Game Over' appeared above him. Then Yuan pressed the reset button and they were back at the entrance to Kakariko Village.

"Dejavu..." Kratos said.

"BWAHAHA!" Yuan laughed. "I HAVE THE RESET BUTTON! NOTHING CAN STOP ME!" Then the reset button disappeared in a 'poof' and Yuan began to sob.

"Darn it...there goes my world domination..." He moaned.

"What?"

"Eheheheh...nothing..." Yuan replied nervously.

"Right...Now what were we supposed to do?"

"GO TO DEATH MOUNTAIN! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME!"

"Um...fourteen."

"You weren't supposed to answer that."

"Oh... HEY LOOK IT'S THECUCCO LADY!" Kratos exclaimed as he ran over to...'_Anju'_...(Her name in Majora's Mask)

"What the heck do you want? I need somebody to find my cuccos!" Anju said.

"Is there a...PRIZE?" Kratos asked excitedly.

"Maybe."

"I'M IN!" Kratos said loudly. "Hmm...let's see...OOh! I found one!" Kratos ran over to a cucco, picked it up, and threw it in the chicken pen. "I win!" He claimed whie grinning.

"No...there are still seven more cuccos left." Anju stated.

"Oh..." Kratos sighed.

Now imagine Kratos doing the same thing seven more times. (Including the "I win" part.)

"Whew...I'm done!"

"Here's a bottle!" Anju said as she gave Kratos his reward.

"Cool!" Kratos exclaimed. "Wait...shouldn't you have RECYCLED that bottle...?"

"Err..." Anju began to say guiltily. "UH MAYBE!" She shouted as she ran out of Kakariko.

Yuan was still mourning over his loss of the reset button. "Sniff sniff...now I'll never be able to control everything..." he sobbed.

"YUAN WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Kratos asked loudly.

"NOTHING! Why don't we go to Death Mountain...?" Yuan asked through clenched teeth.

"Okay...Hey mister! Could you open the gate for us?" Kratos asked pleadingly.

He didn't realize the man was asleep and all he got for a response was a snore.

"Okay, I'm climbing over the gate." Kratos announced loudly as he started climbing on the iron bars.

Still no response.

"I'm almost over the gate..." Kratos was sitting on top of the gate.

"I'm OVER the gate." Kratos said proudly as he jumped down from on top of it.

"Oh geez, that was wonderful." Yuan said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah...SHUT UP..."

Yuan and Kratos walked/flew up the Death Mountain Trail.

"Hey lookie at this weird village!" Kratos said as he walked inside Goron City. "What the heck is with these things...? They're odd creatures..."

"They're Gorons stupid." Yuan said boredly.

"Oh...Look! The Royal Family's crest!" Kratos exclaimed. He began to play Mithos' Lullaby.

* * *

"Now Mithos, I need you to--" The king started to say until his son fell asleep. "WHAT THE HECK?"

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I'm gonna end it here, so I can update my other stories. I hope you enjoyed it!


	9. Altessa and Martel again

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!**

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-- Goron City --

Kratos had just played Mithos's Lullaby, and the door slid open. "Helloooo?" Kratos asked.

"WHO'S THERE!" A voice shouted.

Yuan and Kratos walked through the tunnel that was really dark so you can't see anything, and saw who said that.

It was a...goron...with a grayish beard. Yup, that's how I describe him.

"I am King Altessa." Altessa announced. (don't you think that Altessa bears and uncanny resemblence to Darunia? I do...)

"Uh...hi..." Kratos said sheepishly. "We were wondering if--

"NO!" The Goron King screamed. "NO! I'M ANGRY! CHEER ME UP!" he demanded.

"Um...okay..." Kratos leaned over to Yuan. "What should I do to make him happy?" He hissed quietly.

Yuan frowned. "Well...let's ask Martel! We should go back to Kokiri Forest!"

Kratos began twitching. "All...the way...BACK!" He yelled.

"Yup...but...maybe there's a shortcut..." Yuan thought aloud.

"SOUNDS GOOD!" Kratos agreed and ran out of the room quickly.

- Later -

Kratos and Yuan found some boulders to bomb. Please don't ask how they lifted up the bomb flowers without the bracelet. OH! I know! Team effort! Or they got one of the Gorons to do it for them...yeah, that's what they did...

-- Lost Woods --

"Hey!" Kratos exclaimed. "This isn't Kokiri Forest!"

Yuan rolled his eyes. "It's the Lost Woods. Duh."

"I wish you would stop doing that...it's really annoying..." Kratos complained.

"Just shut up and go to the Sacred Forest Meadow."

Kratos sighed angrily (is that possible...?) . "I don't know if you forgot, but...I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE WE ARE!"

"Oh, right. Sorry... go..that way..." Yuan directed. They did that for a while.

"Finally!" Kratos sighed, exhausted.

Yuan rolled his eyes. (He has eyes...uh...yeah...) "It only took one minute..."

"Oh...right...now where are we...?"

"THE SACRED FOREST MEADOW!"

"And where's Martel...?"

"IN THE SACRED FOREST MEADOW!"

"Okay, sheesh...but there are a lot of Deku Scrubs...and they're trying to hit me..." Kratos moaned.

"Well duh. Just dodge them, stupid."

"STOP CALLING ME NAMES!"

- Later -

Kratos sighed. "Okay, I go past them now where-- Oh, hi Martel!"

"Hi Kratos! Wanna learn a song?" Martel asked.

"Um..sure. Does it make people happy? I need to make this one weirdo happy..."

"I guess..." Then Martel began to play on her panpipe that looked EXACTLY like Kratos's.

_Do do do, do do do, do do do do do..._

"Sounds easy enough." _Do do do, do do do, do do do do do..._

**YOU LEARNED MARTEL'S SONG.**

"Yay!" Kratos cheered. "I learned the song! SEE YA!"

"Jerk." Martel muttered as Kratos ran back to the Lost Woods.

* * *

Kratos ran into Altessa's room, panting.

"O-okay...I can m-make you happy..." He began to play on his panpipe.

The Altessa started dancing. He looked like a complete loser.

"OOoo!" he exclaimed. "That's a cool song! You can have this bracelet!" he said as he handed a bracelet to Kratos.

"Hey!" Kratos yelled. "THIS THING IS DORKY!"

"Well sorry it's too DORKY for you."

"Yeah! It is!"

"But you use it to pick up Bomb Flowers..."

"REALLY? COOL!" Kratos shouted. "Now can you just give me the stone thing...?"

Altessa nodded and picked up a rock that was laying on the ground. "Here you go."

"NOT THAT! THE SPIRITUAL STONE!" Yuan screamed.

"Oh, that. NO WAY PUNK! JUST HELP US WITH THE DODONGOS!"

"What are Dodongos?" Kratos asked, confused.

"They're lizards that are in the cavern that we get our rocks from. Now we're gonna starve..." Altessea groaned.

"Wait..." Kratos began. "You EAT rocks?"

"Yup."

"You guys really are stupid."

"Thanks."

"That wasn't a compliment." Yuan said.

"Oh..." Altessea looked at the ground. "Will you help us?" He begged.

"What's in it for us?" Kratos asked greedily.

"THE SPIRITUAL STONE!"

"Oh! Of course! Why didn't you just say so? Let's go Yuan!"

Then Kratos and Yuan ran out of Goron City.

"Hmm..." Kratos muttered. "There's a huge boulder in front of the cavern...what should we do?"

"There's a bomb flower!" Yuan exclaimed. "Pick it up and throw it!" he commanded.

"Mmkay." Kratos yanked the bomb flower out of the ground and threw it at the boulder. It blew up.

"Yay!" Kratos shouted happily. "Let's go!" Then he jumped off the cliff and landed on his ankle. "OW!" he screamed in pain."MY ANKLE! I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! WHY DIDN'T I GET A STUNT DOUBLE?"

"Because you're an idiot." Yuan commented smugly.

"Good thing I've got..." Kratos paused for suspense. "THIS FAIRY!" He announced as he pulled out the bottle Anju gave him. He pulled off the cap thingy and the fairy flew out. "Heal me!" He ordered.

The fairy squeaked and healed his ankle and his heart meter. Then he and Yuan went into Dodongo's Cavern...

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There, done! Hope you liked it!

Please review!


	10. Dodongo's Cavern

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**

"It's dark in here!" Kratos complained. "This is stupid...why do these losers even EAT rocks...?"

Yuan shrugged. Okay, from now on, Yuan can do stuff like that. Even though he is a fairy. Oh well."I guess they do." he replied.

Kratos hissed. Yuan stared at him. "What the heck...?"

"Sorry..." he picked up a bomb flower and threw it at the slab of stone that was blokcing the entrance. KABOOM! It blew up.The two went inside.

(Note: I don't remember at ALL how you beat Dodongo's Cavern. So if I get stuff wrong or skip anything, that's why.)

"Omigosh what the heck is THAT!" Kratos asked Yuan while pointing at something.

Yuan sighed. "It's a Beamos. They shoot beams at you."

"What the heck...? That sounded kinda obvious..." Kratos stated.

"Anyway, just try to dodge it."

"Would you stop telling me all these stupid things I already know?"

"No."

Kratos hissed again. "I hate you."

"Thanks, that's what I'm here for!" Yuan remarked happily.

"Uh...right...So where do I go now?"

"I think you need to go over...there." Yuan pointed to the place to the left of the beamos.

Kratos nodded and tried to jump across. He fell in the lava and died. So now Yuan gets his reset button back.

"Muhuahahaha!" the fairy laughed evily. "WORLD DOMINATION!" He pressed the reset button and Kratos came back to life. The reset button then turned into some popcorn. Yuan began crying. "No...n-not again...I w-will get that r-reset button s-someday!"

Kratos grabbed the popcorn out of Yuan's hand and ate it. "EW!" he complained. "It didn't have enough butter...and it tasted like cheap plastic..."

Yuan glared. "I'm in a bad mood right now." he stated. "So let's get this dungeon over with..."

Now let's skip to the Lizalfoes. And I'm pretty sure that the 'l' is supposed to be in there.

* * *

"Oh gosh!" Kratos screamed. "What are those things? They're likelarge sword-wielding lizards!" 

"They're Lizalfoes." Yuan replied. "Block with your shield and attack." (That's how I beat them. I don't need any dumb deku nuts. You can beat the game without them.)

Kratos nodded and charged the large reptile. The lizard easily sliced his shield in half.

"AW CRUD!" Kratos yelled. "MY SHIELD BROKE!" He pulled out a bottle which oddly made time stop. Kratos yanked the cap off and pulled out...a Hylian Shield? What the heck?

Kratos grinned as he equipped the shield. Yuan raised his eyebrows. "How the heck did you fit that inside a bottle?" he asked.

"Um...I really don't know..." Kratos admitted as he got ready to kick some lizard. Yuan sighed and pulled out some popcorn and ate it. What the heck is with all the popcorn...? Oh wait, that was my idea...

So the Lizalfoes were defeated. Now let's skip to...when you get the bomb bag...

* * *

"Oh my gosh!" Kratos exclaimed. "This is awesome! I can blow up almost anything I want! Muhuahahahaha!" 

Yuan rolled his eyes. "No, things that the game allows."

"WHAT! NO WAY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Kratos yelled. "And what do you mean, 'game?'"

"Um...what? What? What are you talking about...?"

Kratos sighed. "I hate you."

"You've already used that line this chapter." Yuan noted.

"SHUT UP."

Now we'll skip to the...boss battle.

* * *

Kratos fell down a hole that was conveniently placed, and landed unrealistically on his feet. He turned around to find a...HUGE DODONGO! OH MY GOSH! 

"That's King Dodongo!" Yuan exclaimed. "He's the king of the dodongos!"

"No, really?" Kratos asked sarcastically.

"YA RLY."

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY."

"NO WAI!" I'm sorry. I just had to do that.

Kratos took out a bomb and threw it into the giant lizard's mouth. "EAT THAT!" he shouted.

It swallowed it and collapsed. Kratos ran up to the dodongo and whacked it wih his sword. Repeat that process three times.

The King Dodongo curled up into a ball and rolled into the lava, thus killing itself. It began decomposing. Eww...

Kratos rushed over and grabbed the Heart Container. Da na na na na na na na naaaa! Now he has, what? Five hearts? Yeah.

Yuan shoved him into the ring of light and they warped to the entrance of the cavern. (Well, right outside it.)

Altessa looked at the boy. "Well, you killed the monster. I'm surprised. Take this jewel." He handed the Goron's Ruby to Kratos.

Daaaaa naaa na na naaaaaaaa na na naaaaa naa naaa naaaaaaaaaaaa!

You got the Goron Ruby! Only one stone left.

The all the gorons walked towards Kratos. "Big goron hug!"

"AAAAAHHHH!' Kratos screamed as he jumped off the muontain. He landed on the roof of Presea's house. Poor Kratos, he died on impact. So Yuan gets his reset button AGAIN.

* * *

What happens next shall remain a mystery. Well, until next chapter. Remember, REVIEWING IS YOUR FRIEND.


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